Pen and a Pad




All I need is a pen and a pad,or a chalk and a slate,
Not the friends that I've had or the promise of fate,
All I want is the state,not the props or the daps,
Feelin' haunted of late,all I got is these tracks,
All I got is these raps,these words,these rhymes scribbled in notepads,
Like on the blocks with the cats and the curbs,addicts hold on to their dope-bags,
That's how I hold on my rhyme book,'coz I'm a junkie for flow,
So I flow songs till I find truth,these chumps see me and go,
"Yo you seen A-list,he's obsessed with his rhymes,he's in need of some help",
They say my dream's aimless,stress in my mind,not in greed of the wealth,
But in need of the health,mental in nature,they say I'm insane,
My issues are both fundamental and major,I play with my brain,
For these rhymes i conjure,pen in my hand and pad on my desk,
From my mind they come pure,like a prayer I got my hand on my chest,
After I'm done,like a prayer to God in respect of what is divine,
The bastard has come,feel like a slayer with sword,ready to check on the swine,
With my neck and my spine,straight like they say the righteous path is,
The shit I rep in my rhymes,always pumping just like your heart is,
Only it pumps blood,while I pump lyrical life into markings of ink,
Your body is pumped up while this miracle light reaches hearts and it shrinks,
The darkness,till illumination is universal like the label but no marketing price,
And all the heart's blessed,inspiration can burst through and turn sharks into mice,
And all the above were done not by some powers I pretended I had,
But this was all possible through the strentgh of a pen and a pad.

One two One two


1,2,1,2...A monotonous beat providing my soundtrack,
I'ma come through,this son grew,not on these streets,you see before I found rap,
I was raise by my folks,well mostly my father,
He used to drink and he smoked,now as I grew larger,
He started getting strict,he had a funny way of discipline,
So I started getting whipped and the lashes were just sinking in,
So after him drinking gin,he'd make me march,called it exercise,
His breath was stinking,hm would tell me how my chest must rise,
Keep my posture straight,1,2,1,2,keep on the beat,
And now my shoulders shake,whenever I speak on the beat,
'Coz the rhythm reminds me of when my self-respect was taken away,
Lost in them visions,my mind be,so full of pain I can't say,
My father lived by the rhythm but his death wasn't in sync,
Like the disharmony hidden,came up on him,crushing the link,
A freak auto accident,but the son of a bitch was an impeccable driver!
Maybe some stress taxing him,god knows,the event left no survivors,
The car's phone dial tone was dead,beeping 1,2,1,2,
Imagine him trying for survival alone,who will come through?Some dude,
Found his dead body,and now raindrops on the roof forming that rhythm,
Eulogies will be said shortly,I feel nothing like my soul's lacking vision,
I never loved the man,as a kid I dreaded his presence and later just ignored hm,
So I touch his coffin with hand,felt some sorta essence,a peace of mind flowed in,
He was dead,I was the one who had to live,my dad was some dude!Dumb fool!
So I just shook my head while blessing his spirit,and my tears fell on him,1,2,1,2....

Dreams



This right here is the work of a real lyricist,
And it's quite clear, the earth ain't where my lyrics is,
I spit the kind of bars that defy gravity,
And even though my mind's scarred and my eyes panicky,
From the danger I sensed, I still hold on to my calm,
In my brain's chamber I'm tense, a snake rolls on to my arm,
It's skin is so cold, I feel a chill in my spine,
It spins and it rolls, this shit's so real in my mind,
But it's not,this no jungle,I'm in the middle of the street,
On the block, now you wonder, is this a riddle to a beat?
Or is a postmodernist abstract mode of expression?
Am I just talking shit or is there a moral or lesson?
Does the snake stand for society and I be humanity?
Choked by the heirarchy, do is seek the meaning of true sanity?
I'ma have to stop you right there,'coz that's not what this is about,
I had a nightmare and now I'm just spitting it out,

It was just a bad dream, no cause for alarm,
You saw a bad scene, like a dead rat that falls on your arm,
Eyes turn red, and then it starts biting your heart,
At night you're in bed, and now you ain't liking the dark,

Little kids shiver at night 'coz they think the bogeyman is around,
Their lips quiver with fright,what if the bogeyman comes down?
They look at the closet door, if it even shakes they run,
Even drop to floor, all they night they wait for sun,
Some sleep with a night light but despite all you do,
Can't escape that night fright, hear the spirits calling you,
"Come on to sleep where pretty dreams you dream,
Where everything's sweet and it all seems so clean,"
Till the surface dissappears and you see the other side,
Where it's all very clear, you're in for another ride,
Where the mothers cried, every step has a landmine,
This ain't no other side, this just a man's mind,
You search but you can't find a way out of this mess,
You try but but you can't climb, you just lay down in your rest,
But what seems like rest may be a whole other thing,
It could be a dream like death, that your soul smothers in,

It was just a bad dream, no cause for alarm,
You saw a bad scene, like a dead rat that falls on your arm,
Eyes turn red, and then it starts biting your heart,
At night you're in bed, and now you ain't liking the dark,

They say life is a nightmare and death is when you awake from sleep,
And they say you see a white glare, so maybe all the hatred and grief,
Is all a dream, in the words of Christopher Wallace,
I remember the walls so clean, in that room where I was searching for knowledge,
In one of my dreams, though you could call it a vision,
And though it seems like an alcoholic with spittin',
'Coz I'm addicted to this, but there's more to the picture,
So as I'm flipping scripts and putting my soul in these scriptures,
But the dreams you see define the kind of person you are,
And it's me who is flippin' and cursing these stars,
Spittin' and hurting these scars, 'coz if your dreams define your humanity,
Then think about it, your nightmares define the cruel clarity,
Of the monsters inside, the dark side of the moon,
The roster of vice, the heart flies in a swoon,
Till you don't see them nightmares, them nightmares see you instead,
And that's the truth right there, the buzz you feel in your head.

Nothing to smile about





I'm sorry if I ain't enthused about the new style's out,
It's not that I'm fused,I ain't got much to smile about,
But I ain't cryin',rage gleams in my eye,
Yes I am trying,fulfil my dreams till I die,

Have you ever been hated to the point where you couldn't take it?
All that they debated,like all your beliefs are just fake shit,
Pac said it best,it's me against the world,
But i feel dead in chest and it's still me against the world,
Peep this,a rapper among poets and pseudo intellectual groupies,
Busting deep shit,you know it,these intellectual groups be,
Looking down on me,like he's just rhymin' words,
Say he's clowning,see,never saw me as a diamond in dirt,
They write in fancy language,I speak like peeps usually do,
Fuck their pansy chants,hey,it is often usually true,
That is shit sounds hi fi,it's just a pile of a crap,
But they make it look like I say all these lies,it's wack,
Since I couldn't cut it,since I'm not as much of an artist,
You know what,fuck it,I don't write,I musically fart shit,
But what sense does it make,to glorify that which inspires no truth,
You see I find it's just fake,I may be an asshole but I ain't no chuth,
I mean fine,put me down,all I do is just rap,
Just an ability to rhyme,it's not an art,just a skill,it's a knack,

I'm sorry if I ain't enthused about the new style's out,
It's not that I'm fused,I ain't got much to smile about,
But I ain't cryin',rage gleams in my eye,
Yes I am trying,fulfil my dreams till I die,

As a kid I saw my dad beat on my mom,
And now shit,I see kats beat on my songs,
But i swear by everything I hold holy and sacred,
I'ma make you my fans till you fucking hate it,
Yo wait bitch,I ain't pissed,my life's a bed of thorns minus the roses,
Full of hate,shit,so sick of these retards who suppose shit,
I spit flows bitch,but that ain't even the half of it,
I see the doors close quick,I ain't no comic or laughing wit,
As a little boy i was told I wouldn't amount to shit,
My scars were my toys and to learn math i counted hits,
Another scratch on the wall,just more blood in my eye,
Now my back's on the wall,I'm stuck in the mud and I try,
I'm like the Dixie chicks when they said they were ashamed of Bush,
Putting up with bitch weak shit,but ain't just another lame to push,
They say it isn't personal,but rap music just isn't good,
First I cursed these dulls,now i know it's not about being misunderstood,
It's about racism,it's about hypocrisy and a hatred of truth,
So I try face these men,do what I can to change it in booth,
But it ain't workin',it's like an attempt to be crushing a wall,
And my soul's hurtin',my face shows I'm bustin' my balls,

I'm sorry if I ain't enthused about the new style's out,
It's not that I'm fused,I ain't got much to smile about,
But I ain't cryin',rage gleams in my eye,
Yes I am trying,fulfil my dreams till I die,

I remember my dad with a bat,about to beat the fuck outta me,
I know it's sad and it's wack,so when I bust out these frees,
There's a certain intensity,don't be fooled by the surface,
But i'm now sensing me and my entire life is just worthless,
I'm hurt with so many things I can't define or pin-point,
But I'm hanging onto the link,connected by a thin joint,
I sit and I spin coins,in the dark in a straitjacket,
Never said i was homophobic but yes,I do hate faggots,
Talking of homos,my dad,he almost paralyzed my mom,
And I was so cold,but now my rhymes are strong,
Not obsessed with the past,but I'm not one to forgive and forget,
Thoughts expressed through this mask,if he looks in my eyes,he'll see his own death,
I make jokes,but the clown never smiles under his face,
I never fake chokes,my style is to never be dazed
, I stood up to my dad at age twelve,and with that spirit i took rap,
I left behind those day's hells,and my motto is to never look back.

The lyrics blog-"Tired"

Now the point of this new blog is to put some of my rhymes out there for ppl who are intrested in reading my lyrics(can i atleast pretend that such ppl exist?..lol)...u know..i freestyle a lot..but i write a lotta stuff too..so whuteva..if u feel it..lemme know..or if u don't...it's all good man...

This is a track i wrote recently..haven't recorded it yet....but it'll be up soon....it's called "Tired"

Tired of the bullshit,tired of the hate,
I'm just so tired that it's stupid,I'm tired of my state,
I'm tired of all that,matter of fact,I'm exhausted,
So I'm like fuck all the crap,I think I just lost it,

Sick of not getting credit,it's not even funny no more,
Now i've always felt sick,at first these dummys ignored,
Then did the first rap shows here,I'm a pioneer bitch!
Everytime I bust that flow it's clear,I done pioneered shit,
Always thought my friends would support,was wrong I guess,
So as I vent and it's dope,through my song my stress,
I express,'coz this bitterness,it hurts a lot,
In my chest and my soul,even when I curse the block,
With verses hot,that's the only therapy for me,
But I been feelin' worse a lot,maybe my therapy's weak,
Nah that's not it,I done figured this out,
Need to open the latch on shit,address what triggers this doubt,
This ill will,why do I feel alone and unappreciated?
Despite my real skill,kats do show me love,so why do i feel so hated?
It is the root of that emotion that I must find in this track,
So I look for the notion while putting my mind in this rap,

Tired of the bullshit,tired of the hate,
I'm just so tired that it's stupid,I'm tired of my state,
I'm tired of all that,matter of fact,I'm exhausted,
So I'm like fuck all the crap,I think I just lost it,

The truth is,you can't comprehend my genius,
When this youth spits,every syllable spent is serious,
And when I said it's genius,I really meant it's genius,
Even when I vent mischevious,though I never said it's tedious,
It's still what I do,this my life,my game,
This mic,this frame,even the strife,the pain,
The lies,the lames,take away hip hop and I cease to breathe,
Cannot survive,I'm sane as long as I strive to seize this league,
The day I quit,my heart will stop and my lungs collapse,
So even though it's dark and hot I gotta run,I gasp,
Catch my breath,witness hypocrisy and double standards,
Till my last I rep,but I got a bit of a troubled manner,
I expect my friends to understand but they just full of shit,
And I'm just full of this,I can't pull no clip,
Which is good,otherwise I might blow my brains out,
These mood swings are murder,you think you know my game now?
Just 'coz I put my name down?Fuck you bitch!
Yall say wassup but I'm on some "Know what?Fuck you" shit!

Tired of the bullshit,tired of the hate,
I'm just so tired that it's stupid,I'm tired of my state,
I'm tired of all that,matter of fact,I'm exhausted,
So I'm like fuck all the crap,I think I just lost it,

I'm the lone ranger,see me in the corner with a pen in my hand,
I don't know strangers and I can't make friends,understand,
I'm stuck in a cycle of bitter hate and loneliness,
Seeking a rifle,'coz sometimes it's only stress,
At other times the amplitude peaks to the vertex,
And God,I can't see you,and you ain't done shit about the hurt yet,
Contemplating suicide 'coz sometimes it hurts to breathe,
I wanna be through with life,feels like a million souls is cursing me,
Fall on knees,face smeared with tears and grief,
So if you call on me,I might just be near the creek,
Neck broken,hanging by a rope from a tree,
Embrace death open,I close my eyes and I'm free,
My heart feels broken and my soul is dying,
In the dark I'm pokin',to fill this hole I'm tryin',
But then again,I can't even kill myself,it sucks,
'Coz despite all the pain,I still feel myself too much,
To go out in the night and make my exit silently,
No,I gotta march and fight,show what I'm blessed with violently,
So i keep on living even though I'm still lonely and cold,
Only time I feel alive is when this homie does flow,

Tired of the bullshit,tired of the hate,
I'm just so tired that it's stupid,I'm tired of my state,
I'm tired of all that,matter of fact,I'm exhausted,
So I'm like fuck all the crap,I think I just lost it,